1, 2, 3, 4……8 months have passed and still, the memory of our last meeting is fresh in my mind. Your smile, our last talk and the way you told me not to worry about you because you’re going to come back soon plays in my head involuntarily all the time at very odd moments. Everyone knows it that one day we have to leave our mortal self on a mysterious immortal journey, people who have achieved wisdom also boast about how attachments are temporary and how the journey within yourself is important, it is the only one that counts they say but all of those facts, this worldly wisdom fades away when we lose someone close to our soul. We know it is inevitable but our soul keeps on mourning for the ones we have lost along the way. I never thought that I would be losing you so soon, I know you were in so much pain and it was a relief for your body but a part of me still hope that someday in my life I’ll be able to meet you in some mysterious way and would be able to hold you again like I used to do and you’re going to say how pale I have become or how much grown up I look. It’s a very long life and I think anything is possible. I know you’re probably thinking that I have completely lost it but the fact is that we live in a futuristic world and technology is changing so don’t laugh at me. The truth is this Amma- For the last past year my biggest fear was losing someone very close to me and I had no idea that it is going to come true suddenly just before the Christmas and you went so early without a proper goodbye, you left me more weak than strong, you left me hollow and you left me miserable.  I used to think that if something like this ever happens to me, I will be devastated, I’ll never smile again and I’ll be depressed for the rest of my life but the reality was pretty different. Our mind shows us all the possible ways of being miserable but it doesn’t tell us about endurance. It doesn’t tell us that grief can be endured, extreme pain can be endured because this is how we survive, and this is how we function. Something bad happens, we cry, we feel numb, we smile, we laugh and we move on. This is the reality and what I have learned is- We have no idea how much we can endure until the worst happens and that is the beauty of it. Bad times show our most beautiful parts or the worst parts, it is all up to us whatever we let on our souls. I chose the best because I am your granddaughter and you have taught me to never give up. I remember you sitting on the right side of the bed, praying and hoping for the best every single day without a pause. Your faith in the goodness was your strength, and it will become mine. I am still enduring this pain but this is just a phase and I can also see the silver lining now. I am writing this to you because I know you watch over me all the time and you want me to be happy and grow more courageous, I can almost see you trying to talk to me so here I am, writing to you so that you feel connected to me, and I know you still love all the gossip I used to tell you so my other purpose to write to you is- Your entertainment. So Amma, its dinner time now and I have to go, until next time-

Yours favorite

Sanskriti